The Sunflower Seed Lady
The woman would stay up every night and look out the window. Underneath her feet were at least a hundred thousand sunflower seed shells. She’d grown so accustomed, she didn’t even notice them anymore. They barely bothered her, and when they poked her calloused toes, they felt like marshmallows — covered in spit and split in half.
She never blinked. The woman could never blink. If she blinked, she’d miss it, and so she never blinked. She’d fold her bony arms and chew on the blandly flavored seeds, her eyes darting from side to side. It was almost as if she had to do it, even though she no longer had any hope of it coming.
But tonight — tonight it came. The woman was looking to the right when the cabinets started shaking and her mangy mutt started barking. The woman shushed him, thinking that he was only angry because of the lack of food, but then she heard it.
It was faint at first. A small puff of a sound, like a hum that barely reached the throat. But it was there, and seconds later, the chhh-chhh-chh-chh-chh-chh sound sang around her house like a bird in the morning. Then the blaring cough of a horn. PFFSSHHH PFFSHHH, it rang. Chhh-chhh-chh-chh-chh-chh, it yelled.
The woman could hardly believe it. With the walls rattling and the pans clashing amongst each other in the sink, the woman left her pool of sunflower seeds and limped over to her last wooden chair. Piled high with bills, coupons, and every useless scrap of paper that she could not bear to throw away, it was the only useful thing she had in that house.
On top of the pile was her brown leather purse with an embroidered sunflower on the front. The sunflower had lost some of its beads, and a few of them had left behind string — sticking out as if it could feel the train as well. The woman laughed, and she laughed hard. She cackled to herself as the dog barked and tried desperately to break from its leash that was tied to the radiator. She grinned at the mutt and threw a newspaper at it, and it sniffed the paper and then barked some more. Still wailing with laughter, the woman stuffed the purse full of old, yellow letters and then reached in a blue envelope. She threw her food stamp card on the floor and she threw her Medicare card at the window and then she laughed and threw her rewards cards all over. The pile of papers collapsed as the train approached, and all of the windows began to creak.
But all she needed was that ticket. That red velvet cake-colored ticket with golden calligraphy and a blue star at the top. The woman slipped on her battered pair of orthopedic flip flops and reached for her door, grinning from ear to ear. When she got outside, she spit out her last sunflower seed to the wind. It landed in her soil, which was littered with dead fish and cigarette buds. The woman who never blinked had turned to the woman who could not stop laughing — she threw her head back and exclaimed in rejoice as the train slowed to a stop. Waddling closer in her old Crab Man shirt and rolled up middle school gym shorts, she grinned at the beautiful train. It was big and cast-iron-colored. Each window was lit up like a piece of cornbread, dazzling and golden. The smoke escaped the engine’s chimney as if it did not want to leave the train — she knew the feeling — with each gust of smoke clumping together with the last.
“I’m here!” She waved, wafting through the soggy ground to get to the hill. Trees shook uncontrollably. Leaves were swept from the earth and put on an unforgivable path by the mere wind the train caused. “I’m here!”
All of a sudden, the train shrieked. The woman groaned, covering her ears and hovering in the mud. It was the highest pitch she’d ever heard, like a baby’s shriek to get his mother’s attention. The woman looked up at the train with worry — what did that mean? Despite her burning eardrums, she kept trudging up the hill. Her asthma was starting to trigger, and she could feel her chest vibrating just like everything else in the yard. The woman let out a huge sigh, and lifted her leg to take another step.
PFFSSHHH PFFSHHH, the train bellowed. The woman gaped as the cornbread lights flickered, and she could hear the people inside begin to laugh and cut up. The train made one final exhalation, and then its many wheels began to turn. “NO!” The woman yelled at the top of her voice. She inhaled, then began to shamble up the hill as fast as her skinny legs could carry her. Someone onboard laughed and another said, “I know that’s right!”
“NO!” The woman called again, finally beside the massive train. She held up her ticket and began to jog beside the train as it sped up. “I’m here! I’M HERE!” A gust of wind chilled the woman and made her totter, and one flip flop caught onto the other.
The woman brutishly rolled down the hill, landing in the same mud she’d just believed she was leaving. Picking up her head, she could see the train’s final cart leave into the fog. The dog kept barking, but the trees and house began to calm themselves. The woman felt like her body wasn’t there anymore. She only saw that empty track — that heavy fog. The mutt yelped in the distance, calling her back to that house. The woman’s eyes felt as though they’d been held to fire, and she sat in the mud for a while, just sobbing to whatever worms and mosquitos were around to listen. “No…no…”
After a few minutes in the cool mud, the woman sat up and sighed, reaching for her purse. Buried in the ground was her ticket. She pulled it up — the golden calligraphy was now just as brown as her, and the blue star had been scratched in half. But it was still the ticket.
The woman trudged into the house and threw her purse at the barking dog. He sniffed it, barked happily, and sniffed it again for good measure. The woman sighed, looking at her house. The cinnamon colored dishes, stained to Hell. The red sofa scratched to Heaven. The flickering light and the moths that kept it company. The woman shook her head and uttered an “mm mm mm” to no one in particular. Then, from her big brass bowl, the woman scooped up a handful of sunflower seeds. The woman slipped off her shoes. The woman stood behind the window.
And for another night, the woman waited.
